Supporting someone else

It can be hard to know how to support a friend or loved one who has experienced crime.

Below are some general tips:

  • Create a safe space where the person affected can speak openly.
  • Have the conversation in a low-pressure environment. Non-face-to-face opportunities like driving or walking a dog can make it easier for people to open up, especially children and young people.
  • Listen to them and let them share their experience at their own pace.
  • Believe them and tell them you believe them.
  • Validate their feelings. Reassure them that their emotional response – whether it is shock, anger, fear or distrust – is normal.
  • Tell them that the crime experienced was not their fault.
  • Talk through their options but let them make their own decisions about the next steps.
  • Safely signpost them to support services.
  • Offer practical help such as running errands, cooking, cleaning or helping with childcare commitments, accompany them to appointments and help with administrative tasks like insurance or compensation claims.  
  • Assess safety. If someone is in immediate danger, call 999.


Things to avoid: 

  • Judgement, blame or shame.
  • Minimising the experience.
  • Prying for intrusive details they are uncomfortable sharing.
  • Making decisions for them or pressuring them into a particular course of action, including reporting the crime to the police. Experiencing crime often strips away a person's sense of control so it is important the person who experienced the crime has agency over the next steps.
  • If supporting a child or young person, do not promise strict confidentiality as you may need to involve other agencies for their safety.
  • Intervening directly or approaching the offender. This could be dangerous for both you and the victim.


Victim Support has a detailed web page on supporting someone after crime.

Women’s Aid’s Friends and Family Handbook provides practical support and information for people who know someone who is experiencing domestic abuse.

The NSPCC has an online guide on responding to disclosures of abuse by a child or young person.