Rape and Sexual Assault
What is sexual violence?
Sexual violence is any form of sexual activity that takes place without the other person’s full and informed consent. This includes physical contact, words, or photographs.
Sexual violence can happen to anyone regardless of age, gender, race, sexual orientation, religion, class, or background. Sexual violence is never the victim’s fault; the fault lies solely with the perpetrator and there are no excuses or justifications for this behaviour.
Rape and sexual assault can be carried out by a stranger, but often the perpetrator is someone known to the victim such as a husband, boyfriend, friend, colleague or other family member.
Although research shows that the majority of sexual violence is experienced by women and girls, men and boys can also be victims.
Sexual violence can include:
- Pressuring or forcing someone to do something sexual
- Touching someone sexually without their permission
- Watching a sexual act take place without permission
- Engaging in sexual acts with someone who is too intoxicated to give consent
- Engaging in a sexual act with someone who is asleep or unconscious
- Having sex with someone who cannot legally consent – for example, a boy or girl under the age of 16, or someone with disability who does not have the capacity to understand the situation
- Making someone watch or appear in pornography against their will
- Preventing someone from using contraception
If you have experienced sexual activity you have not consented to, this is sexual violence. Understanding consent is vital.
Consent is showing or verbally communicating a clear ‘yes’ to another person. If a person is not sure whether someone has given consent, they should ask.
To be able to consent a person must have both the capacity to say yes and understand what is happening and what they are agreeing to do .
The absence of “no” doesn’t mean yes. Someone might have been pressured or frightened into doing something they don’t want to – this means they haven’t consented.
Everyone has the right to say no to any kind of sexual activity, or to change their mind at any time before or during sex.
It is also important to remember that there are some groups of people who cannot consent under law. If someone is not physically or mentally capable of making a decision to have sex, or they can’t understand what they’re agreeing to, they cannot give consent. For example, if someone is very drunk or intoxicated when they agree to sex, the law recognizes that they don’t have the capacity to give ‘true’ consent.
The age of consent in the UK is 16. Anyone below this age cannot legally consent.
Click below to view a video that explains consent, developed by Thames Valley Police.
If you have been a victim of rape or sexual assault then our Sexual Violence Service will provide you with an Independent Sexual Violence Advisor (ISVA) to support you. This support can include emotional help and/or assistance through the Criminal Justice System, if you decide to report the crime, as well as coordinating any other additional support you may require.
If you need support contact Victims First on 0300 1234 148 or use our online form found at Get Support Now.
Sexual Assault Referral Centres (SARCs)
Sexual Assault Referral Centres (SARCs) offer medical, practical and emotional support to anyone who has been raped, sexually assaulted or abused. They have specially trained doctors, nurses and support workers to care for you. Help is available 24 hours a day. Visit the NHS website to find your nearest SARC.
You can find out more about SARCs in this NHS video.
Thames Valley Police has produced an Investigation Timeline to assist survivors of rape and sexual assault in deciding what action they want to take. It explains what to expect from the police investigation and answers some frequently asked questions.
There are many common myths about rape, sexual abuse and sexual violence which can make it difficult for victims to talk to anyone or seek support.
Victims can blame themselves, think others will blame them or that they won’t be believed. Myths can also affect how victims are treated by family and friends, services, and organisations.
It's important to challenge these myths.
Myth: Rape happens as a result of overwhelming sexual desire.
Fact: Rapists rape as part of their need for power, dominance and control.
Myth: People of certain races and backgrounds are more likely to commit sexual violence.
Fact: There is no typical rapist. People who commit sexual violence come from every economic, ethnic, racial, age and social group.
Myth: If someone didn’t scream or try to fight their attacker off, then it wasn’t rape.
Fact: There are many reasons why someone might not scream or struggle. In fact, many victims find that they couldn't move or speak at all – this is a very common reaction. Some rapists also use manipulation or threats to intimidate or control the other person. No matter whether or not someone 'fights back', if they didn’t freely consent to sex then it is rape.
Myth: If you are in a relationship with someone, it’s always OK to have sex with them.
Fact: Everyone has the right to say 'no' to any type of sexual activity at any time – including with their partner. Consent must be given and received freely every time. Rape and sexual violence in a relationship is illegal.
Myth: Women who are raped often deserve it - particularly if they entered a man's home or got in his car.
Fact: Nobody deserves to be raped, ever. Entering someone’s home or car is not consenting to sex. Sex without consent is rape.
Myth: If someone gets really drunk it’s their own fault if they end up getting raped. They should have kept themselves safe.
Fact: Just because a person is drunk or has taken drugs does not mean that they must be looking for, or are willing to have, sex. People have the right to drink alcohol without getting assaulted. Having sex with someone who is very drunk, drugged or unconscious is rape – and it is always the rapist’s fault.
Myth: When it comes to sex, women and girls give out mixed signals. They sometimes 'play hard to get' and say 'no' when they really mean 'yes'.
Fact: Everyone has the legal right to say 'no' to sex and to change their mind at any point of sexual contact. If the other person doesn't stop, they are committing sexual assault or rape. When it comes to sex, we must check in with our partners, respect their wishes, and believe what they tell us about what they do and don't want.
Myth: Women wearing revealing clothing are inviting rape.
Fact: It doesn’t matter what a woman is wearing. Her clothing or behaviour does not mean she is consenting to sex.
Myth: Most rapes are committed by strangers in dark alleys.
Fact: In reality, most rapes are committed by someone the victim knows - friend, family member, partner or other individuals known to the victim. People are raped in their homes, their workplaces and other settings where they previously felt safe.
Myth: The victim had previously had sex with the perpetrator so must have consented.
Fact: Everyone has the right to say 'no' to any type of sexual activity at any time. A person who has freely chosen to have sexual activity with another person in the past does not, as a result, give general consent to sexual intercourse with that person on any other occasion.
Myth: Only young, 'attractive' women and girls are raped.
Fact: People of all ages and appearances, and of all classes, cultures, abilities, genders, sexualities, races and religions, are raped. Rape is an act of violence and control, and has nothing to do with the perceived 'attractiveness' of a victim.
Myth: Only gay men rape men.
Fact: Men who rape other men do so as an expression of power or control. They might be heterosexual and in a relationship with a woman. A man’s sexuality does not cause him to rape.
Myth: Men who are sexually assaulted or raped by a man must be gay.
Fact: Rape and sexual assault are about violence and control, not desire. Being the target of rape has nothing to do with a man’s sexuality.
Myth: Sexual abuse doesn’t happen in same-sex relationships.
Fact: People in same-sex relationships are just as likely to experience sexual abuse and rape as straight people. Research shows that transgender individuals may be at even higher risk of abuse from their partner. LGBTQ+ people can find it difficult to seek support because of additional stereotypes and prejudice they face.
Myth: Women don’t commit sexual offences.
Fact: The majority of sexual assaults and rapes are committed by men against women and children. However, women do perpetrate sexual violence against other women, men and children. Often people who've been sexually assaulted or abused by a woman worry they won't be believed or their experiences won't be considered 'as bad'. This can make it difficult for these survivors to access services or justice.
Myth: When it comes to sex, men have a point of no return.
Fact: Men can control their urges to have sex just as women can. No-one needs to rape someone for sexual satisfaction. Rape is an act of violence and control.
Myth: It didn’t go to court, so the person must’ve been lying.
Fact: The evidence shows that false allegations of rape are no more common than false allegations of any other crime. Cases may not proceed to court because of high evidential requirements, but this does not mean that the survivor was lying.