Rape and Sexual Assault
What is sexual violence?
Sexual violence is any form of sexual activity or act that takes place without the other person’s full and informed consent.
Sexual violence can happen to anyone regardless of age, gender, race, sexual orientation, religion, class, or background. Sexual violence is never the victim’s fault; the fault lies solely with the perpetrator and there are no excuses or justifications for this behaviour.
Rape and sexual assault can be carried out by a stranger, but often the perpetrator is someone known to the victim such as a husband, boyfriend, friend, colleague or other family member.
Although research shows that the majority of sexual violence is experienced by women and girls, men and boys can also be victims.
Sexual violence can include:
- Pressuring, threatening or forcing someone to do something sexual
- Touching someone sexually without their permission
- Watching a sexual act take place without permission
- Engaging in a sexual act with someone who is too intoxicated to give consent
- Engaging in a sexual act with someone who is asleep or unconscious
- Having sex with someone who cannot legally consent – for example, a boy or girl under the age of 16, or someone with disability who does not have the capacity to understand the situation
- Making someone watch or appear in pornography against their will
- Preventing someone from using contraception
If you have experienced sexual activity you have not consented to, this is sexual violence. Understanding consent is vital.
Consent is verbally communicating a clear "yes" to another person. If a person is not sure whether someone has given consent, they should ask.
To be able to consent a person must have both the capacity to say yes and understand what is happening and what they are agreeing to.
The absence of “no” doesn’t mean yes. Someone might have been pressured or frightened into doing something they don’t want to – this means they haven’t consented.
Everyone has the right to say no to any kind of sexual activity, or to change their mind at any time before or during the sexual activity.
Consent must be given for each specific sexual act - saying yes to one activity does not mean consenting to others.
It should also be reaffirmed every time. Engaging in sexual activity with someone in the past, should not be seen as permission to do so again on another ocassion, irrespective of your relationship status.
It is also important to remember that there are some groups of people who cannot consent under law. If someone is not physically or mentally capable of making a decision to engage in sexual activity, or they can’t understand what they’re agreeing to, they cannot give consent. For example, if someone is very drunk or intoxicated when they agree to a sexual activity, the law recognises that they don’t have the capacity to give true consent.
The age of consent in the UK is 16. Anyone below this age cannot legally consent.
Thames Valley Police has produced a series of resources on consent;
- Consent is Everything explains consent, reminding people that consent is as simple as tea (see below video).
- Consent Conversations encourages people to talk about consent, aimed primarily at 18-24 year olds.
If you have been a victim of rape or sexual assault then our Sexual Violence Service will provide you with an Independent Sexual Violence Advisor (ISVA) to support you. This support can include emotional help and/or assistance through the Criminal Justice System, if you decide to report the crime, as well as coordinating any other additional support you may require.
If you need support contact Victims First on 0300 1234 148 or use our online form found at Get Support Now.
Sexual Assault Referral Centres (SARCs)
Sexual Assault Referral Centres (SARCs) are specialist NHS centres providing medical, practical and emotional support to anyone who has been raped, sexually assaulted or abused. They offer a range of services including crisis care, medical and forensic examinations and emergency contraception delivered by specially trained doctors, nurses and support workers.
There are two SARCs in the Thames Valley located in Bicester and Slough run by Solace Thames Valley.
Services are available 24/7/365 but victims need to make an appointment before attending. Victims aged 16 or over can make an appointment with or without police involvement. Appointments for under 16s need to be made via the police or social care services.
You can find out more about SARCs in this NHS video.
Thames Valley Police have also produced a video about SARCs in partnership with VAWG campaigner, Sharon Gaffka. The long-form video, which was filmed in the SARC in Bicester, seeks to raise awareness of what someone accessing a SARC service will experience from initial contact through to examinations and aftercare.
Thames Valley Police has produced an Investigation Timeline to assist survivors of rape and sexual assault in deciding what action they want to take. It explains what to expect from the police investigation and answers some frequently asked questions.
There are many common myths about rape, sexual abuse and sexual violence which can make it difficult for victims to seek support. Victims can blame themselves, think others will blame them or think they won’t be believed.
Myths can also affect how victims are treated by family and friends, services, and organisations.
It's important to challenge these myths.
Myth: Rape happens as a result of overwhelming sexual desire.
Fact: Rape is always about power, dominance and control.
Myth: If someone didn't scream or try to fight their attacker off, then it wasn't rape.
Fact: There are many reasons why someone might not scream or struggle during rape. In fact, many victims of rape, sexual abuse and sexual violence find that they couldn't move or speak at all - this is a very common reaction. Some rapists also use manipulation or threats to intimidate or control the other person. No matter whether or not someone 'fights back', if they didn't freely consent to sex, then it is rape.
Myth: If someone didn't say "no", then it wasn't rape.
Fact: Consent is not the absence of "no". Continuing with sexual activity despite non-verbal cues that the other person doesn't want the activity to carry on is sexual violence. These include the other person seeming unsure or uncomfortable, avoiding eye contact, pulling away, being silent or freezing.
Myth: When it comes to sex, women and girls give out mixed signals. They sometimes 'play hard to get' and say "no" when they really mean "yes".
Fact: Everyone has the legal right to say "no" to sex and to change their mind at any point of sexual contact. If the other person doesn't stop, they're committing sexual assault or rape. When it comes to sex, we must check in with our partners, respect their wishes, and believe what they tell us about what they do and don't want.
Myth: There were no physical injuries, therefore it wasn't rape.
Fact: Rape does not have to involve violence or force, cause physical injuries or leave visible marks. It is defined by a lack of consent, not the presence of physical trauma. Many victims do not have physical injuries and the absence of injury or resistance does not mean it was not sexual violence.
Myth: She orgasmed so must have enjoyed it, therefore, it wasn't rape.
Fact: Physiological responses like lubrication, arousal and/or orgasm or erection or ejaculation are all involuntary and experiencing one or more of these in response to an act of sexual violence does not mean the victim consented to it or enjoyed it. Experiencing physiological responses to sexual violence is often particularly distressing and confusing for survivors. Perpetrators will also often use these involuntary reactions to minimise a survivor’s experience.
Myth: Women wearing revealing clothing are inviting rape.
Fact: Women and girls have a right to wear whatever they want without being raped or sexually assaulted. Their clothing or behaviour does not mean they are consenting to sexual activity.
Myth: If someone gets drunk or takes drugs, it's their own fault if they end up getting raped. They should have kept themselves safe.
Fact: No one is ever to blame for being raped or sexually assaulted - no matter the circumstances. People have the right to drink alcohol without getting assaulted. Having sexual activity with someone who is drunk, drugged or unconscious is rape - and it is always the rapist's fault.
Myth: Women who are raped often deserve it - particularly if they entered a man's home or got in his car.
Fact: Nobody deserves to be raped, ever. Entering someone's home or car is not consenting to sexual activity. Sex without consent is rape.
Myth: People lie about being raped because they regret having sex with someone or want revenge or attention.
Fact: False allegations of rape are extremely rare. In fact, most people who are raped or experience sexual violence never tell the police.
Myth: If you are in a relationship with someone, it's always OK to have sex with them.
Fact: Everyone has the right to say "no" to any type of sexual activity at any time - including with their partner. Consent must be given and received freely every time. Rape and sexual violence in a relationship is illegal.
Myth: The victim had previously had sex with the perpetrator so must have consented.
Fact: Everyone has the right to say "no" to any type of sexual activity at any time. A person who has freely chosen to have sexual activity with another person in the past does not, as a result, give general consent to sexual contact or intercourse with that person on another occasion.
Myth: The rape didn't go to court, so the person must have been lying.
Fact: Rape cases do not proceed to court for a variety of reasons, including high evidential requirements, but this does not mean that the survivor was lying.
Myth: If they'd really been raped, they would have said something sooner.
Fact: Many survivors of rape, sexual violence and sexual abuse feel unable to talk about their experiences in the immediate aftermath. There are many reasons a survivor may not disclose what happened to them until a later date. Whatever the time frame, survivors should be believed and supported.
Myth: When it comes to sex, men have a point of no return.
Fact: Men can control their urges to have sex just as women can. No-one needs to rape someone for sexual satisfaction. Rape is an act of violence and control.
Myth: People of certain races and backgrounds are more likely to commit sexual violence.
Fact: There is no typical rapist. People who commit sexual violence come from every economic, ethnic, racial, age and social group.
Myth: Only young, 'attractive' women and girls are raped.
Fact: People of all ages and appearances, and of all classes, cultures, abilities, genders, sexualities, races and religions, are raped. Rape is an act of violence and control, and has nothing to do with the perceived 'attractiveness' of a victim.
Myth: Most rapes are committed by strangers in dark alleys.
Fact: In reality, most rapes are committed by someone the victim knows - a friend, family member, partner, colleague or other individual. People are raped in their homes, their workplaces and other settings where they previously felt safe.
Myth: Men don't get raped.
Fact: 1 in 6 men and boys will experience some form of sexual abuse or violence in their lifetime, including rape.
Myth: Only gay men get raped and only gay men rape men.
Fact: Anyone can be a victim of rape and sexual violence. Men who rape other men do so as an expression of power or control. They might be heterosexual and in a relationship with a women. A man's sexuality does not cause him to rape.
Myth: Sexual abuse doesn't happen in same-sex relationships.
Fact: People in same-sex relationships are just as likely to experience sexual abuse and rape as straight people. Research shows that transgender individuals may be at even higher risk of abuse from their partner. LGBTQ+ people can find it difficult to seek support because of additional stereotypes and prejudice they face.
Myth: Women don't commit sexual offences.
Fact: The majority of sexual assaults and rapes are committed by men against women and children. However, women do perpetrate sexual violence against other women, men and children. Often people who've been sexually assaulted or abused by a woman worry they won't be believed or their experiences won't be considered 'as bad'. This can make it difficult for these survivors to access support, services or justice.