Stalking and Harassment

Stalking can consist of any type of behaviour such as:

• Persistent phone calls, text messages or messages on social media, emails, letters or notes.
• Sending of unwanted gifts - from the seemingly "romantic" (i.e. flowers and/or chocolates) to the bizarre.
• Following you or showing up wherever you go. 
• Waiting at your workplace, home, other venue like a gym or place of worship or loitering around your neighbourhood.
• Breaking into your home or car.
• Befriending your friends or family to get closer to you.
• Gathering information on you: contacting people who know you; searching public or personal records, even the dustbin, for information.
• Surveillance: persistently watching you using cameras, audio equipment and phone tapping, or bugging your home or workplace.
• Manipulative behaviour including threatening to commit suicide in order to coerce you in to contact.
• Threats and violence: the stalker uses threats to frighten you; vandalism and property damage, physical attacks or sexual assaults.
• Cyberstalking: using the internet to pursue, harass or contact you. 

If the behaviour you're experiencing from another person is:

• Fixated
• Obsessive
• Unwanted
• Repeated

then you should report it.

Stalking can seem trivial at first but if someone’s behaviour patterns are upsetting or frightening you, take it seriously.

You may find it difficult to tell other people about what is happening. Perhaps you’re worried about what they will say? Whether they will believe you? Think you are making a fuss about nothing? It is important to tell people, your safety may depend upon other people knowing.

If you think you are a victim of stalking, you can report it to the police using 101 or online. If you have immediate concerns for your safety, call 999. 

Support is also available via Victims First. We may refer you to our specialist Thames Valley Stalking Service. Delivered by charity Aurora New Dawn, the service provides emotional and practical support, advice and advocacy to anyone who has experienced stalking.

The National Stalking Helpline is also available on weekdays. 

If you are being stalked, or you think you are being stalked, you should report it and look to reach out for specialist support. 

In addition: 

• Do not interact with, or respond to, your stalker.
• Record any and all incidents noting the date, time, what happened and where, how it made it you feel and whether there were any witnesses. If possible, take the witnesses names and contact details.
• Collect and retain as much evidence as you can – screen shots, voice messages, emails, items sent to you.
• Tell people you trust (family, friends, work colleagues) what you’re experiencing. Your safety may depend upon other people knowing.
• Vary your daily routine and take different routes to work, the gym and other places you regularly visit (whilst sticking to safe, well-lit routes if on foot).
• Protect your online security: review your privacy settings on your phone and social media accounts, disable location services on your devices, don’t use the same password for all your online accounts and change them frequently, activate two-factor authentication and regularly scan your devices for spyware.
• Minimise the amount of information about you that is in the public domain. Be mindful not to post anything online about where you are going, your day to day routine or current location. Ask friends and family not to check or tag you into places giving away information on your current or previous locations.
• Carry a personal alarm.
• Travel with others where possible.
• Ensure your windows and doors are locked while in the home.
• Consider installing additional home security measures such as extra locks, a door chain, CCTV, security lighting or an alarm system. 
• If you're concerned your vehicle may have been compromised, check underneath the vehicle and inside the glove compartment, the sun visors and any other compartments for tracking devices.
• Always ensure your mobile phone is easily accessible, charged, and familiarise yourself with how to make an emergency call from the lock screen. 
• Identify your nearest safe location. This could be a police station, medical centre or shop with security staff.
• At work, consider telling your manager, HR or a colleague about what is happening so your employer can take steps to ensure your safety. 
• Do not block your stalker. You may lose valuable evidence, and the stalker may escalate their behaviours in an attempt to reach you.

Please note, the general personal safety advice shared above is not intended to suggest that taking any or all of these actions will in part, or in full, protect you from stalking or eliminate incidents of stalking against you. If someone's behaviour is frightening you or making you feel unsafe, you should report it. 

Stalking is a dangerous crime that causes victims significant fear and trauma. Stalking myths often minimise the danger and psychological impact of this crime. 

Myth: Stalkers are strangers lurking in the shadows. 

Fact: Over 90% of victims are stalked by someone they know - ex-partners, acquaintances, neighbours, coworkers or clients.

Myth: Stalking is creepy but does not cause physical harm.

Fact: Stalking is a dangerous crime, and a perpetrator's behaviour can escalate, sometimes rapidly. Even without physical harm, stalking can have a devastating impact on victims and their feelings of safety with many victims living with heightened anxiety, fear, and stress in addition to feeling forced to change their daily routines, places they visit and even move home or jobs.  

Myth: They’re just head over heels for you.

Fact: Stalking it not about love. It is a pattern of fixated, obsessive, unwanted and repeated behaviour that makes the other person feel frightened and unsafe.

Myth: There are no threats or violence therefore it isn’t serious.

Fact: Stalking isn’t always violent. Critically, threats and physical violence are not required for the criminal offence of stalking to be prosecuted. The key factor is that behaviours are obsessive and cause alarm and distress.

Myth: Ignoring a stalker will make them stop.

Fact: Stalkers seldom just stop. It is a crime of persistence that stems from fixation so ignoring them is rarely effective. In fact, ignoring a stalker can cause them to intensify their behaviours in an attempt to get a reaction.

Myth: Stalking is rare.

Fact: One in five women and one in ten men will experience stalking in their lifetime.

Myth: Only men are stalkers and women are victims. 

Fact: Stalking affects people of all genders and sexual orientations.

Myth: Stalking only happens in person.

Fact: Cyberstalking and digital surveillance such as tracking using spyware or social media, excessive online messaging, doxing, sharing or threatening to share intimate pictures and hacking online accounts are all common forms of stalking.

Myth: Stalking only happens to people in the public eye.

Fact: Most victims of stalking are ordinary citizens.

Myth: You can’t be stalked by someone you’re in a relationship with.

Fact: If your current partner tracks your whereabouts, turns up where you are or waits for you in places like your workplace, school or gym, sends unwanted gifts and or an excessive number of texts, letters or persistently calls, that is stalking.

Stalking and harassment both involve repeated and unwanted behaviour by someone towards another person.

They are both crimes and will often overlap because stalkers use harassment tactics as part of their stalking behaviour however, stalking is a specific, intense form of harassment characterised by fixated, obsessive, unwanted and repeated behaviour that causes severe fear, distress or anxiety.

Stalking is a considered pattern of behaviour compared to harassment that tends to be more sporadic and less calculated. Harassment also tends to be focused on an issue or grievance, rather than an individual.

Examples of harassment may include

• Repeated anti-social behaviour
• Sending abusive texts, emails or social media posts
• Verbal abuse
• Bullying
• Discriminatory harassment

Harassment is considered more of a nuisance rather than creating a safety concern for the victim. If a victim has profound fear and anxiety and behaviours are having a substantial adverse effect on their day-to-day activities (ie. changing routes to home, work or other places like the gym or installing additional security measures in the home), then they are likely to be experiencing stalking rather than harassment.

If you're unsure if you are being stalked, The Suzy Lamplugh Trust has designed an online tool to help victims identify stalking behaviours.